A forgotten memory
by stayawake
Summary: Severus Snape has a memory of a woman....who just may become more than a memory....
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer- i own nothing but the plot. Hope you enjoy :D_**

**Chapter 1- The mere memory-**

Severus Snape sat at his desk marking another sheet of parchment with a big fat **F.** He grunted looking over Ron Weasley's paper, it didn't make any sense. Could no one really write a paper about the Draught of the living dead? Was it really all that hard? His mind seemed to wander off as he stared blankly at the paper. When a voice entered his head.

_"Severus..."_

He looked around shocked not knowing where the voice came from but recognizing it immediantly.

_"Carrie....is that....no...it can't be..." _He thought their connection had ended a long long time ago. Then there was silence in the room agian, He sighed gently dropping his quill and standing stretching his long limbs. He headed down to the great hall deep in thought. He hardly touched his food his mind wandering back to six years ago.

**_Flashback-_**

_The young woman before him clung to his robes weeping._

_"Severus...please...please don't do this...i can't live without you." she weeping burrying her face into his robes._

_"Carrie, its to dangerous...if the dark lord even suspects me, if i displease him, he will take it out on you. Your the closest thing to my heart Carrie and i won't let him hurt you." He said softly yet firmly._

_"Please Severus...i'm strong...i can handle it." She pleaded looking up at him. Her blue eyes filled with tears while others spilled down her cheeks._

_She was so pure, so young, just finishing off her seventh year at hogwarts. He couldn't corrupt her, ruin her life. He closed his eyes inhaling deeply and pushing her off him forcebly._

_"No....this...we...are over carrie goodbye...i don't ever want to see you in my dungons unless it be for class." His tone had turned angry. Even hateful. _

_It was then he saw her heart break, her eyes drop as she let out a strangled sob turning and running from the class-room. .......And that was the last time he'd ever seen Carrie Mulciber._

**_EndFlashback-_**

He stared down at his food. He hadn't wanted to break her heart, but he supposed it was what had turned him into the man he was today. He knew he had to do it, the dark lord was merciless and if he had found out about Severus being a double agent he would have killed her...or worse.....These were his thoughts as he stood quickly retreating to his dungons.

**A/N: I hope this sparked your intrest. the upcoming chapters should be good. i have it all planned out lol :) **


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer- i own nothing but the plot. Hope you enjoy this chapter :D_**

**_Chapter 2- His imagination....or not...?_**

He lay in his bed moping in self pity and confusion.....there was no way the connection was still there between them...it had been six years...six long years...Why was he suddenly thinking about her now...it must be his imagination.

_"Severus....i'm here." _

He started, sitting up in his bed, this was impossible completly and utterly impossible. He growled laying back down in his bed kicking the Green and silver silk covers off himself. Running a hand through his dark hair. God this was infuriating. He soon fell into a restless, troublesome sleep. His mind racing with what the young witch had done with her life. He assumed she had moved on, probally married a wizard and by now had at least three children....three beautiful....children....that could have been his....He shook his head violently. What on earth was he thinking?!?

The next morning he awoke grumpier than ever, exhausted as well. He marched down to the Great Hall for breakfast barking orders at young witches and wizards. As they all shied away from him. He loved being feared, it gave him a sense of power over these children. As he took his seat he glared at his sylithern's who were tossing food at the back of Harry Potters head. Not that he cared what they did to Potter, he just was grouchy. His eyes were taken away from his sylithern brats when he heard the doors to the great hall open. As his eyes turned to see who would dare interupt his thoughts, his jaw dropped. There she stood...in all her glory...Carrie Mulciber.

"I'm terribly sorry headmaster, it seems the school has changed since i was here." She muttered when the headmaster greeted her. Gesturing her to the seat right next to Severus.

Dumbledore smiled brightly standing up, quieting the students before speaking loudly.

"Students, as i'm sure you all now know we have a new teacher here, Ms. Mulciber she will be your new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher let us all welcome her." He nodded in the womans direction. Snape growled lightly, but he couldn't take her eyes off her. Her dark black hair had gotten long, beautiful and shiny....very soft looking. Her eyes still held the same peircing blue stare they had years ago, although she looked thinner....maybe it was more fit....all he knew was her robes hugged her body in the right places. He bit down on his lip sliding his chair out viciously. He saw most of the staff look up at him as he hurried out of the Great Hall, she hadn't looked up at all though. He was sure soon though she would be seeking him out. He was very wrong. A week passed and she hadn't even given him the time of day. It was the friday before all the children went away on christmas holiday, he was summoned to dumbledores office.....


	3. Chapter 3

**_Disclaimer- i own nothing but the plot. :D_**

**_Chapter 3 A secret knowen to none_**

Dumbledore nodded at him to sit in a chair as he looked over at the chair next to him he jumped. There she was looking better than ever.

"Hello Severus." God he loved that voice.

"Carrie...." He nodded curtly.

Lucky for them dumbledore broke the silence.

"Severus...Carrie here has a secret...much to the similarity of your own..." His eyes twinkled brightly as he looked between the two.

"What?" Severus hissed loudly.

Carrie smirked and pulled up the sleeve of her left arm revealing the dark mark, His eyes bulged, now glaring at her.

"She too is feeding me information....for the order...against the dark lord." He looked between the two youngsters feeling a tension in the air.

"How do you know she can be trusted" Snape hissed. Shooting her and evil Glare. His temper raged, this was why he had ended things to PROTECT her from the dark lord, not to have her do exactly what he did. How could she? She had so much potential....why.

"The same way i knew you were, i've seen into her mind....You two are dismissed." He said softly yawning.

Carrie got up first as if to escape Severus, seeing the rage on his face she practically fled out of the office. No matter how fast she thought she was he was faster catching up to her and grabbing her arm forceably. He slammed her little body agianst the cold dungon wall.

"What are you thinking?" He hissed venom dripping from his every word.

She whimpered, knees bending in pain.

"Severus....your hurting me...." her voice was low but he could tell it hurt.

He didn't care, he just held on to her tighter holding on to both arms.

"Carrie you tell me what the HELL you were thinking....i tried to protect you from this and now you put yourself right in the line of fire." He hissed squeezing brutally. He knew he would bruise her, but at this point his temper had taken over.

"Severus....stop...this hurts..." She whimpered bending at his touch.

"The dark lord will hurt you so much worse than this Carrie now tell me WHY?" He growled.

She didn't look up but he could smell he salt in the air. Her eyes had begun to fill with tears.

"Because....Severus....after you left me i had NOTHING. i was NOTHING. So i did the one thing i knew you would hate....I joined the dark lord. but ive been feeding dumbledore information this whole time..."

Severus growled and pushed himself away from her, what he really wanted to do was hold her, tell her it would be ok. But his temper was to high, his rage to much.

"How dare you...you little wench, get out of my sight." He growled turning away from her. He walked back to his chambers but was awaken in the middle of the night by his dark mark burning. He hissed at the feeling, getting out of his bed to take a pain relieving draught. It helped a little. His mind wandered to Carrie, she had nothing to numb the pain. He crept out of his chambers moving silently, like a snake putting his ear to the door. What he heard broke his heart. He heard her screaming in pain, and agony. He could just imagine the feeling she felt. The pain shooting through her body. He muttered a silent spell letting him see through her doorway, he shouldn't have, because this only made his heart break more. Her little body was pressed agianst the wall and she was screaming in agony, pulling at her hair. Sinking down agianst the wall. If they hadn't been in the dungons everyone in the castle would have heard her. He sighed as he watched tears flow down her cheeks, she tore at her hair. He shook his head, knocking softly on her door. She quieted, but didn't say anything. He knew she wasn't going to let him in, because she didn't know it was him. He opened the door, entering her chambers. He didn't see her until she darted from one side of the room to the other. He managed to catch her in his arms holding her at arms length. Watching her wither in pain.

"S-S....Severus." She couldn't breathe, or talk for that matter. He knew what it felt like to be in that kind of pain. He wasn't sure how to respond to her. He stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head. Leading her to her bed and setting her down. He knew she wouldn't sleep, but it would help her relax. He left her then, but she was on his mind for the rest of the night. ....


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning severus, went to breakfast, Carrie wasn't there. This made him worry, after what he saw last night he didn't think she should have been alone. After his first class was finished he went to her classroom, walking in with out knocking, she was in her office sitting with her head in her hands. He crept behind her placing a hand on her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" he asked softly

She looked up at him, dark circles under her eyes. Her eyes were bloodshot.

"I'm doing fine, how are you feeling?" she stared into his eyes and he felt his heart melt

"I can handle it, i promise i'm fine." He brushed her hair out of her face.

She sighed and stood up, but swayed slightly, he reached out to catch her but she held her hand out.

"Severus, i'm fine just a little light headed." She murmured. He watched her eyes flutterer as she swayed more violently, falling asleep right then and there he caught her in his arms. Chuckling before lifting her and carrying her to his chambers, where he knew she wouldn't be disturbed. scrawling a note on the door informing students class was canceled. She slept in his arms all the way to his chambers. When he set her down on his bed she stirred lightly mumbling about class. She kept going on half asleep about how she needed to go teach class, and how her students were going to be wondering. he rolled his eyes typical Carrie never stopped talking. He leaned down pressing his lips to hers, her eyes shot open in shock, but her lips responded to his on instinct. He moaned as her tongue bushed his lips, asking for entrance, he immediately granted her request, meeting her tongue. She entangled her hands in his hair, attempting to pull him closer. He resisted her, instead hovering over her body gently stroking her stomach with his free hand. She groaned moving against his hand. He'd missed her lips, her touch. He knew he shouldn't be doing this to her, but his heart told him different. and for once in his life he listened to his heart, instead of his mind.

"Severus..." She moaned kissing his cheeks, nose, forehead and neck.

"Carrie...I have...class, i need to go...sleep." He managed to drag himself away from her, kissing her forehaed. hurrying to teach his class before he was late. oh how he loved her, everything about her. His class seemed to drag on and on. even though it was only an hour long. After his class was over he hurried to his chambers to find Carrie sound asleep in his bed. he smiled and climbed in next to her. She rolled over on top of him, kissing him. He chuckled, biting down on her lip. She melted against his body, and he pushed her over pinning her beneath him. His lips attacking her neck, she whimpered trying to kiss him.

"nah ah ah." He murmmered. Kissing her neck again. She whimpered softly. He kept her arms pinned above her.

"Severus, this isn't fair." She whined.

"Isn't it?" He cooed brushing his lips on hers, before gently gliding his tonuge over her bottom lip. Her lips parted slightly, and he took the opportunity to assult her lips with his own. When he heard a knock on his door.

"Professor Snape, Professor dumblore would like to see you." The person at the door said.

He groaned slightly getting up before hollering.

"I'm on my way."

A/n: Its been a while since i updated but i'm going to keep going with this one. hope you all liked. :) i had to add at least one mushy chapter


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